doggie dude ranch & training center

BOARDING | TRAINING | DAYCARE

doggie dude ranch & training center

BOARDING | TRAINING | DAYCARE

POWER-SAPPERS: Part III – Accommodation

"Taken to an extreme, you may become a 'doormat.' Doormats can’t manage or direct dogs, children, or employees. Doormats don’t often get all of what they want in life, either."

In women’s lives and roles as girlfriends, wives, and mothers, many of us equate accommodation with love. We clear the sofa for our husband, when he needs to sit down; we change our schedule around, so we can attend our child’s recital or softball tournament. It’s what we do. All good people, to some degree, accommodate the people they love. It is a good and desirable thing. In becoming leaders your dogs can depend on, it’s important to know in the animal world, accommodation is akin to subordination.  When one dog “accommodates” another by giving up his ball, moving out of the way, or backing off when challenged, the message is,  “You win.  I defer to you. “

In my own experience, this practice of accommodation has affected my ability to direct and manage my staff.  I’m by nature a very nice person, taught by my parents to be sensitive to the needs of others and sometimes to put their needs ahead of my own. In most of life’s circles, that is a good rule to live by. But taken to an extreme, you may become a ‘doormat.’ Doormats can’t manage or direct dogs, children, or employees. Doormats don’t often get all of what they want in life, either. In my own life, I no longer accommodate. I compassionately direct.

When your dog walks faster on leash, do you speed up to keep up, instead of insisting that he walk at your pace?  When he growls and objects to being moved off the sofa, do you back off and let him remain on his “throne?”  When you ask him to “Stay,” but he gets up anyway, do you just shrug and let him go?  If you do any of these things, you are accommodating your dog, and cutting your personal power off at the knees. No wonder your dog doesn’t take you seriously. Your willingness to accommodate is like saying, “Never mind.” YOU don’t take yourself seriously, so why should your dog?

In becoming a leader, go ahead and love your dog, setting reasonable expectations, then follow-through quietly and fairly without accommodation. Avoid the other Power Sappers of fidgeting and emotional extremes, mentioned in earlier posts, and you will be amazed at your increased effectiveness!  BTW, it works in life, too!

-Diva

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”. Camilla and her Dairydell Method have been featured in numerous newspaper and magazine articles, as well as on San Francisco TV’s Evening Magazine and View From the Bay. Camilla loves teaching – whether it’s dogs, their owners, or the horses you see her riding in Dairydell’s beautiful arena. When she’s not training, teaching or riding, Camilla is writing about her favorite subject: dogs and their people! Camilla holds professional memberships in both the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors (NADOI) and the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP).
Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”.

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