doggie dude ranch & training center

BOARDING | TRAINING | DAYCARE

doggie dude ranch & training center

BOARDING | TRAINING | DAYCARE

POWER SAPPERS: Part II – Emotional Extremes

"The reason anger and frustration fail to control a dog is that anger and frustration signal to your dog (and to others) that you have lost control."

FRUSTRATION & ANGER vs. SMOTHERING LOVE

Have you ever been so frustrated with your dog that you yell at him? It’s what most people do when they are at a loss on how to control, command or even just get their dog’s attention. When your dog fails to respond, your anger and frustration escalate. Finally, you give up and walk away. Read on to learn the keys to becoming a leader.

Frustration and Anger

The reason anger and frustration fail to control a dog is that anger and frustration signal to your dog (and to others) that you have lost control.  This type of emotional extreme destroys your power base and puts you at a vulnerable, weakened position when it comes to negotiations of any sort, whether these are negotiations with business contacts, or with your dog (!)  In dog training, you can pretty much forget about getting your dog to obey when you yell.  Animals, in particular, are acutely aware of the signals that convey relative power or weakness, because their very survival depends on their ability to recognize these signals.  Even if you don’t yell, but your voice belies an inner frustration, you telegraph that you have lost your confidence, your nerve, and your power – and your dog will most likely not obey you, because dogs only follow confident leaders.

Remember – obedience is about who has POWER, and clearly you don’t have any if you’re frustrated and let it show.

Smothering Love

At the other end of the emotional spectrum is excessive, smothering love.  This is not as common a problem for dog owners as frustration and anger, but it does bear mentioning.

Don’t get me wrong – I like hugging and kissing my dogs as much as the next person, but some dog owners take it to the extreme, smothering their dogs with excessive displays of affection, with continual holding, hugging, kissing, etc.  When normal love and affection morph into this extreme form, the dog begins to see himself as superior to his fawning owner.  Smothering love can send a message of subordination, not love. Take a lesson from the successful kindergarten teacher  – or parent for that matter.  They do not fawn over their children; they keep love and discipline in perfect balance.  Nature loves balance, and so does your dog.

Beware of these two Power-Sappers:  Anger and Smothering Love.

-Diva

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”. Camilla and her Dairydell Method have been featured in numerous newspaper and magazine articles, as well as on San Francisco TV’s Evening Magazine and View From the Bay. Camilla loves teaching – whether it’s dogs, their owners, or the horses you see her riding in Dairydell’s beautiful arena. When she’s not training, teaching or riding, Camilla is writing about her favorite subject: dogs and their people! Camilla holds professional memberships in both the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors (NADOI) and the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP).
Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”.

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