doggie dude ranch & training center

BOARDING | TRAINING | DAYCARE

doggie dude ranch & training center

BOARDING | TRAINING | DAYCARE

POWER SAPPERS: Part I – Fidgeting

"Often when women work on becoming a leader, they are undermined by certain personal habits that sap them of the power they are eager to gain. The worst part is, women don’t even realize they are sabotaging their own power."

Your dog is looking for a leader. A powerful figure with quiet confidence, in whom he can safely put his trust and follow. Powerful “alpha” dogs are quiet and direct. So are powerful people. When you become that kind of leader in your dog’s eyes, he will listen to you, follow and obey you.

Often when women work on becoming a leader, they are undermined by certain personal habits that sap them of the power they are eager to gain.  The worst part is, women don’t even realize they are sabotaging their own power. This post will focus on one power sapping habit: fidgeting.

Powerful people don’t fidget.  Fidgeting takes different forms, from physical to verbal, but in all its variations fidgeting says, “I’m uncomfortable, uncertain and self-conscious right now”.   What kind of leadership statement is that?

Physical Fidgeting

Physical fidgeting takes many forms, from playing with your hair, to biting your fingernails, to tapping your toe or your pencil, squirming in your seat, and so on and so forth.  Watch Oprah, Hillary Clinton, or film clips of Margaret Thatcher.  You’ll not find a hair-twirler among them!  They sit or stand quietly, and their movements are deliberate.  They may, in fact, be feeling nervous or stressed on the inside, but their outward demeanor does not reveal it.  Their outward appearance is one of calm, cool confidence.

When women attempt to train their dogs, they often fidget physically.  They will fuss with the leash, or move it around like a helicopter, walk fast to keep up with the dog, then slow down when he balks.  They’ll stoop to command, contort to be heard, reposition themselves in self-doubt, or start over…  Auugghhh!  No wonder the dog can’t figure out WHAT they want!

Verbal Fidgeting

Even more women fall prey to verbal fidgeting.  What do I mean by verbal fidgeting?  I mean that many women seem uncomfortable with silence, and fill the void with nervous or useless chatter.   By contrast, powerful people make a statement and let it sit there for maximum effect.  They don’t explain themselves, apologize, retract, revise or make useless conversation.  They say what they mean, and mean what they say.  Nothing says uncertainty like verbal fidgeting.

Think about the weakening effects of fidgeting – both physical and verbal – next time you work with your dog.  For that matter, think about it the next time you direct your employees, or your kids, or when asking your boss for a raise.  Avoid fidgeting, and see how much more effective you are!

-Diva

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”. Camilla and her Dairydell Method have been featured in numerous newspaper and magazine articles, as well as on San Francisco TV’s Evening Magazine and View From the Bay. Camilla loves teaching – whether it’s dogs, their owners, or the horses you see her riding in Dairydell’s beautiful arena. When she’s not training, teaching or riding, Camilla is writing about her favorite subject: dogs and their people! Camilla holds professional memberships in both the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors (NADOI) and the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP).
Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla Gray Nelson

Camilla has over 50 years experience with animals (she grew up on the farm!). She has trained, bred and shown dogs since 1989 and brings this broad background and knowledge of dog behavior to her clients and her business. Her life-long understanding of the animal mind helped her develop what has become her signature style of natural dog training and voice control, now simply referred to as the “Dairydell Method”.

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